What a support person actually does
Your support person is someone close to you — a spouse, partner, family member, or close friend — who's there for the emotional and practical side of the journey: appointments, the highs and lows, and simply having someone who understands what you're going through in real time.
Who it can be
A spouse or partner
The most common choice, especially for medical appointments and major decisions.
A close friend
Particularly valuable for single surrogates or those without a partner nearby.
A family member
A parent or sibling who's emotionally invested and available.
Another surrogate
Some surrogates find peer support — someone who's done this before — uniquely valuable.
Do I need to designate someone?
Most programs don't require a formal support person, but strongly encourage having one. The journey involves real medical and emotional moments — confirmation appointments, the transfer, occasional setbacks — and having someone who can be present for those moments matters.
"The support person isn't about needing permission — it's about having someone who can hold space for you on the days that are harder than expected."
What if you don't have an obvious person?
That's okay, and it's worth raising with your case coordinator — many programs offer additional support resources, including counseling and peer connections with other surrogates, to help fill that gap.